Amalgamated North Pole Industries. L.L.C.
100 Candy Cane lane
North Pole, Arctic Circle 10001
December 17, 2007
To Whom it May Concern,
Last january, in a moment of tequila induced mayhem, the naughty elves trashed a bar in St. Thomas. A probation officer assigned to one of these little trolls recently disclosed to government officials that I had been running an “International Airport.” I was immediately served with innumerable fines, environmental impact studies, licensing fees and what not. They set up a security screening checkpoint and brought in a slew of anti terrorist …