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Elizabeth, dry your tears and just say no to the N-Word

By Carmen D. on Friday, July 18th, 2008, 12:03 am Comments

I believe Elizabeth Hasselbeck’s tears yesterday on “The View” were sincere. I believe she seeks racial harmony in our country and so do I. Further, it’s my hunch that hundreds of thousands of people, many of them white, were nodding along as she expressed her passionate belief that the constant use of the ‘n-word’ in pop culture makes it more difficult to get to a better, more racially understanding society.

I think she’s right. I hate the ‘n-word’ when anybody uses it. But let me be very clear about my opinion on all of this. Anyone who thinks the move toward racial equality and harmony in this country rests on who uses or does not use the ‘n-word’ does not even begin to comprehend the kind of gut wrenching self examination and barrier blasting work it will take to build a color neutral society in America.

From “The View”

“We live in a world where pop culture uses that term and we’re trying to get to a place where we feel like we’re in the same place,” Elisabeth said. “How are we supposed to then…move forward if we keep using terms that bring back such pain?”

“I can tell you how, here’s how we do it, you listen and say ‘Okay, this is how we’re using this word and this is why we do it,’ and you have to say, ‘I understand that, but let’s find a new way to move forward,’” Whoopi fired back.

“We don’t live in different worlds,” Elisabeth insisted, “We live in the same world.”

However, Whoopi fiercely disagreed with her co-host, saying, “We do live in different worlds, it’s just that way. It is Elisabeth.”

Yes Elizabeth, there is a double standard. A black person will not be penalized for using the ‘n-word,’ and a white person will.

But why does that matter? My perpetually unanswered question to all of the white people who make this complaint is why in the world would any racially sensitive white person want to use the ‘n-word’? Why does this particular double standard tick you off so much?

I hate the ‘n-word.’ I don’t use it. My family: me, my mom and my grandmother, sat down together and decided not to use that word. And we didn’t and we don’t. I have asked black people not to use it in my presence. I have strongly urged white people who wanted my friendship to stop using it altogether, even with other black people who condone it. And I’ve encouraged them to ask the same of their white friends. But I don’t believe in banning words. You can’t enforce it anyway.

I feel Elizabeth’s pain. Honest talk about race is painful stuff. But as I say to myself many, many times everyday: the only way out is through.

Read More – Great minds and all that…One of my favorite bloggers, The Field Negro, has another take.

Read More – Sandra Rose.com - check out the comment thread. Interesting reading.

Read More – Good ol’ Huffington Post. Check out their comment thread.

  • If you are a true person, and if you truly recognize that color dont mater, then a little word wont make a difference. and somebody said why white folks wanna use it.well its kinda like this. There have been many words that have lost there meaning over time. many word that used to be bad are ok now and many that used to be ok are bad now. WHen a white kid grows up callin his black friend that im pretty sure he dont mean it ina negative way. you see.us people on the bottom we know what it truly means to appreciate and be connected to other people, and our bonds are so strong it dont make a difference whether you say nigga or not. Me..i can say whatever the hell I want....when you have somebody crying over it, that is proof that they dont feel confident that people is people and we all the same, so it proves and underlying passive prejudice. what that means is that they feel guilty inside because thay know that they see blacks or whites as being different based only on skin color......im just keepin it real like a common man..you people all up there sayin "lets get rid of the n-word" obvious;y arent confident enough that you see evrybody as the same. words are just that, words, and they just talk
  • I mean no harm in what i say. But honestly, if you have any street experience at all and your not just some rich person thats outta touch with our society, im sure you will know tha "nigga" is no longer a racial word among the majority. In new orleans we really do have that racial harmmony your talking about (among the cititzens) and whites blacks, mexicans,carribeanian, cajuns grow up in the same neighborhoods, and in the same culture. THey dont separate it into "black" or "white" culture because its one huge culture created by the melting of many. plus its prob;y that it was founded before america. Because we all grow up together there, I remember as a youn child white and blacks both greeting eachother with "hey my nigga" or "whats up nigga" you see its just a greeting now. all people . mexican black, white , say all the racial slurs to tease eachother. BUt you know why nobody gets offended.mostly everybody down there is mixed with the other guys race. Like me, I have french, spanish, mexican, black, and Italian in my blod, so technically im all of them and im a whole new breed. I dont think that "nigga" is responsible for any racial problems, I think the fact that the majority of the other american cities( whitenessed it myslef in shock) have separate neighborhoods for different races. ANd when somebody is a minority in this new city i live in, they always want to be know as "oh im different than you whites guys" and white guys are like "oh hes black hes to rowdy. And when you have this constant voice (like al sharpton) telling these kids that they are different b/c they are black,then they will believe it, they gonna wanna be known as different, and they will be seen as different, and as long as you got the redneck white dude dismissin black skinned folk as stupid and "rowdy" than that also separates races. also have you watched a sitcom lately? The white kid is always depicted as dopey,clueless,flighty, and has no depth to his character. Black kids on a sitcome are always good for fighting, loud,"real", obnoxious, lazy, and "streetsmart" and then you have these overly liberal people teaching our children that all blacks live it hard and are poor( we know better where im from) what do you expect ? in the childs mind he now sees every black as a poor uneducated being that constanly needs sympathy and " oh god dont offend a black person" in turn black people say" damn these whities walkin on eggshells, they need to be down to earth like black people...were so dofferent!" its a viscous cysle, the sooner that we stop givin a damn about who is what color and just chill and have fun together, the better...
  • missy
    Lisa, I am speaking only for myself and my family. We have never felt the need to use the N word. I am with the person that said we should let that word die, bury it and be a United Nation, not a divided Nation. We, of all races must pull together, not apart. We are all Gods Children.The only difference in only the skin color, we all are alike, when we get cut we bleed, when we lose a loved one we feel the same pain,when I wittnessed a fatal wreck, of a African Anerican lady, 32 years old,was killed, I hurt, I stood as they took her from the car, the entire time I was asking God to be with her loved ones and comfort them in their time of lose. I didn't care what color she was, to me she was someone daughter, sister, aunt, mother, wife. I knew many would suffer losing her. In Gods eyes she was my sister in Crist, I hurt. I think most white people feel the same as I feel. Its like they say, there is always a bad apple in the bunch. I feel we all have our bad apples, not just one race but all races. In weeks, months, years, what ever it takes, that we can all stand as one Nation Under God, like it should be. Not divided, but united. God Bless us all, and with his help we can become the Kind of nation we were meant to be.
  • Hello there...

    Whites know EXACTLY how they used the word in the past... and I am really interested in hearing WHY IT IS that they keep bringing up 'why can't WE use it?"

    Hmmmmph.

    Why would they WANT to?

    Let's for a moment just forget about the discussion about why blacks are using it...I want them to answer the question of WHY they want to use it!!

    Hmmmmph.

    Lisa
  • I agree with Whoopi. Remember, she is a comic. By taking the word and making it your own, you get rid of it's power. We are currently doing the same thing. We are running a comedy in NYC, "feminazi" (the n-word for women). By taking this word and holding it up to the light for what it really is, we are breaking it down and making it powerless.
  • Justice implies somebody has been wronged by somebody else. How are white people wronged when Black people use the word?

    And why is the word and concept of justice being cheapened this way? This is the same Hasselback that was puking out Fox News talking points during the Jeremiah Wright scandal. There is no way to confuse her with someone genuinely concerned about JUSTICE.

    If Black folks never used the word again from this day forth, nothing about Hasselback gives me the impression that she would say a word about on-going and inherited racial inequality, let alone Reparations.

    That's that JUSTICE is about. And as far as balancing... When all other groups including Whites stop using racial/ethnic slurs/jokes about their own group within their own group then and only then will White people even begin to have any standing on the issue.

    But, you know, I missed the movement or uproar over Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck." I've also been privy, all my life, to White-on-White use of racial slurs as endearing, amongst themselves, and even used in hurtful ways but I've never seen an ounce of concern for "justice" or for eliminating the double-standard of quietly accepting the phenomenon among everybody else except African-Americans.
  • [Carmen, thanks for posting on this incident. FWIW, I was inspired by your post to do my own post on it, where I focused more on Elizabeth's common white tendencies in racially mixed company.]
  • What macon d said.
  • I think it's pretty damn presumptuous of Elisabeth, or of any other non-black person, to say anything at all about whether blacks should use that word, or about how they use it. What the hell business is that of white people?

    I also think Elisabeth's performance here, though probably not staged, is a perfect instance of white center-stage sickness. When it comes to racial discussions, our tendency is to jump in and dominate the discusssion, all while talking, paradoxically, about OTHER people in terms of race, instead of about ourselves in terms of race--about what being "white" actually means for us, about what being trained as white has done TO us.

    That latter proposed move wouldn't be so appropriate on Elisabeth's part in this particular discussion, since the topic IS the n-word, but dominating the discussion in the way she does is such a common white form of behavior in these kinds of mixed race discussions. The basic message, again a terribly presumptuous one, is "I need to tell you how you should live your life. And if you try to complain or explain what race means in your life, I'm going to tell you how you're wrong about that too, because somehow, I just know more about what it is to be you than you yourself do."

    How sad that the other women there (Whoopi excluded) let that discussion, on THAT WORD no less, be all about poor widdle white Elisabeth.
  • There are not too many of us in this country that have never referred to blacks in our day to day conversation with one another as "Niggers". As demeaning as the word is, according to the dictionary term, it has been ingrained in the American psyche with an indelible mark that is literally a brand on our foreheads. Those who react to its emotional impact must realize that since the call to stop using this word, more attention has been given to its controversial origin and its applicable usage.

    I wonder if Mr. Obama has ever been called a "nigger". If so, how did he react to it? Have you ever been called a "nigger"? How did you react to it? I have been called a "nigger" many of times, by both blacks and whites. As a result, I have been angry and I have laughed and gave the person some "dap" for its descriptive adjective connotation that has taken on a solidarity ritual within the black community since God knows when. Nowadays, white boys are calling each other "nigger". Nigger, please! Nigger please! Nigger please! Everywhere blacks and whites assemble and gather you hear the word! Is it a cuss word? Is it a fuss word? Is it ony an "us" word? What kind of word is it?

    With its double standard usage in today's American society and as other races and cultures embraces its slang interpretation while making it their own, I doubt if White America cares a great deal of the Media's divide and conquer exploitatives. The best thing we can do as a people is to move on and quit focusing on how it has diminished the reputation of Mr. Jackson or hurt Mr. Obama! For every finger pointing at anyone, there are multiples pointing back at you. "If God were counting errors, none of us could stand." "He that is without sin, let him cast the first stone." Get my point? Forgiveness is divine, to remember is only natural, but to let go will heal your mind!

    Does the so-called Reverend need to wash his mouth out with soap? Maybe so, but so does the FCC and the airwaves of American Media, Film and Print, then maybe, the word "nigger" will gradually dissapear from our minds. Until then, brother can you spare a dime?
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