Carmen - thanks for the post and the insight. I've been hoping you would bring up some topics concerning transracial adoption.

Azizi - thanks for your comments. As a adoptive parent who has adopted transracially (we are white, our son is black), I've been doing a lot of reading about racial reconciliation and transracial adoption. I'm very grateful for the transracial adoption training we got through our agency and think similar training should be required for all adoptive parents who are considering transracial adoption. It was invaluable to us.

I know transracial adoption is not the perfect answer, but I also know that it is not an perfect world. There are a lot of transracial adoptees out there who are bitter (I've read their blogs, though I couldn't keep reading them because it made me lose hope that I could raise my son to be a confident black man who is comfortable with his heritage). I'm motivated to do everything in my power to make this world a better place for my son to grow up. Your words encouraged me.

Hello Jenny. Thank you for reading and sharing your comment. You know, I think transracial adoption is a perfect answer as long as the child is loved and given a healthy foundation for strong self-esteem. A loving and supportive family, in any permutation, is a perfect answer.

I am so humbled that you found encouragement here. You are doing the work of angels.

Thanks for posting that article about the Black family who is parenting a White girl. According to the article, the girl is actually being parented by that couple and by the wife's mother who agreed to foster the girl after 12 other foster placements had failed. All three adults are the girl's guardians.

Besides from that unique twist, here's my opinion as a Black adoptive parent (of same race children) and as a foster parent (of same race children)-These comments are also colored by my experiences working in foster care for 3 years, working as an administrator at a Black adoption agency for almost 15 years, and serving as a facilitator of workshops about transracial adoption at national adoption conferences: But they are still just my opinions...

I still believe that- all things being equal-same race foster placements and same race adoptive placements are better for children than transracial placements. ("All things" meaning a consideration of the long term impact of the best interests of the child being parented by that particular couple or single person compared with other possible "placement resources" ).

However, all things aren't necessarily equal and factors such as the bond a Black foster child of a certain age might have developed with his or her White foster parent/s and the fact that there may be no other foster or adoption resource for a child but a transracial placement means that those placements are going to continue to occur and those placements should occur.

What I was more concerned about when I worked in adoption and what I am most concerned about now is that prospective transracial parents be screened to make sure that they are aware about the realities of personal racism and institutional racism in the USA and the rest of the world-this includes screening to ascertain if those prospective parents realize that they probably have their own internal work to do to eradicate or at least minimize personal racism. And hopefully, those who are doing the screening have worked on themselves, and will share that this kind of work is probably a life long thing (meaning there are probably going to be times when they need to check themselves out and give themselves another "anti-racial booster shot").

This subject of transracial placements is very complicated, and there's a lot more I could say but let me add these points-the situation that Mr. Riding finds himself in as a Black man parenting a White girl is similar to those that may occur when a Black man is parenting his biological children who are very fair skinned (because of the children's interracial birth. Another similar situation may occur when a Black man (or a dark skinned man of another race or ethnicity) has a biological child whose birth mother is the same race or ethnicity as the father but the child happens to be more fair skinned than their father. This situation may also occur when a Black man is parenting children who aren't biologically his but are the biological children of the woman he is married to or otherwise involved with. Given where this nation is regarding race, those situations will result in the same dynamics and potential difficulties -from some White people and from Black people that often occur in transracial adoptions. (Btw, White people who adopt Asian children also get stared at-so it's not just a Black/White thing).

Until this nation and the world learns to see skin color as just a valueless descriptor people will continue to stare at what are perceived as atypical families. I's important for adults who chose to "build" such families to be realistic about racism while they and the rest of us work to eradicate personal and institutional racism. It's also important for adults in those families to help prepare all the children in their families for the reactions that they will get from other people and for the experiences with racist people-and not just racist White people-that they will undoubtedly have throughout their life. Unfortunately, I don't have a magic wand. If I did racism (including Black racism) would be whooshed away. But nothing is ever that simple.

Hello Azizi and welcome! Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughtful comments. I have been away from the computer so I will try to catch up with your comments right now. Regarding standard vesus substandard English. I personally don't have a problem with referencing "non-standard" English. To me, non-standard just means different. And yes, you are completely right about code switching of course. I do it all the time in conversation. (If you catch our first blogtalkradio show this evening, you will probably hear it!)

I read your observations about interracial adoptions very closely. Bravo to you for dedicating so much of your life to serving children. When white parents adopt a child of color they must do so with an open heart and intellectual and cultural curiosity and humility. White parents of children of color have to be prepared to ask very difficult questions of themselves about how racial hierarchy influences their views and actions in the world - and examine the answers that come. If they can do that, then they stand a great chance of raising a healthy, self loving child of color.

It's hard to argue with Kai Chang's point. We should be there - so much for freedom of speech.